Spinach Leaves

I never really annoyed by the weather this much like before in Chennai. Summer is extending its presence for a longer period than usual months. Chennai loves summer that it never allows the clouds to pour on it whole heartedly. It was one of those hot summer evenings I was engaged with preparing the essentials for cooking spinach. Being the weather so hot, I switched on the AC and decided to work. Within few minutes, I had a phone call and I was supposed to complete few tasks intended for the day. Now the question is, who will spend the time to remove the spinach leaves from the stem.(Is there one word for related to the task, just curious). I was little frustrated as I had to finish everything for the cooking in the morning. It was getting late. Suddenly there came an idea.

My elder son finished all his HW and he was sitting in sofa relaxing in the cool AC. I thought he can be the right choice. After a lot of coaxing, he was ready to work. Soon, he was working with a bundle of drumstick leaves. He was slowly removing the leaves from the stem and put in the box. I was happy seeing the work and I headed back to my priorities. After a good amount of time, I completed all the work and came to the hall once again. I was a little irritated to see the removed stems and yet to be removed stems being together creating confusion. It was difficult for me to put my hands on and help him to complete. In few other bunches, he didn't completely remove the leaves thereby leaving them for the trash. 

I called him and started talking with him. "Honey,  I understand I gave you this work and I know that you are doing this for the first time. But what you should remember and take care is that you should remove all the leaves from all the little stems and also you should know how to segregate the completed and the non-completed ones. The way you handle the spinach leaves explains the kind of person who you are and the kind of attitude you have and I continued, by keeping them separately you also emerge as a good leader to keep the priority and the non-priority items in your control and also removing all the leaves from the stem teaches you that you should have a great attitude to finish the goal. He was listening patiently and nodded his head as a gesture of agreeing on the point. 

So, when you do work, if you do for the sake of doing, it will evolve as into a different person, say a person with a lethargic attitude, but when you do work with wholeheartedly that's when the person of great commitment evolves in his zone and he or she can definitely inspire and transform others. I believe even a small household work can transform your child work on their attitude. Teach them as easy as possible. 

Fasting

Can you imagine yourselves without food and water for few hours? The mere thought itself is daunting right. During the end of the summer vacation in the hot summer month, we knew that the month of Ramadan was coming. When we think about Ramadan, the only one thing to remember is fasting. We need to get up in the early morning around 3.15 AM for a light breakfast. The deadline time to eat and drink will end by 4 to 4.15 AM. The whole day we need to fast till 6.40 PM with no intake of food and water. The fasting period is challenging even for adults. But the essence of the fasting teaches everyone patience and endurance. When millions of people go hungry every day because of their economy, war and other reasons, this is a period to fast by purpose and expressing our solidarity with the people around the world. 

So as expected the fasting period arrived with a great beginning. Since we have to eat the pre-dawn meal before we begin the fasting I asked my elder son who is around 11 yrs to join us. He woke up with great difficulty and on top of that asking him to eat anything in the morning was really challenging. The very first day, he did the fasting for us and with a little frustration. Few days passed and he was continuing the same but with less interest. Because, when he sees any yummy food in the day time he will think to himself, "Why did I, do the fast man"?. He carried on for the next few days. 

His school reopened for the next academic year. As he is entering the 6th grade, his school timings have got changed and he had to get up early in the morning. It was a difficult phase for him and the whole family. We were slowly transitioning to the new schedule. I told him, "Honey since the schedule is so early if you like to leave the fasting, you can quit and focus on the studies". He said, "Maybe, let's see".  So the first day of school he was on fasting. In the evening I was expecting a frustrated son. To my surprise, he came with a broad smile and said, "I did it successfully". He came to the home with no fuss. Next day, again I reiterated on the decision to fast. He stood strong and said that he wanted to continue the same. I was a little surprised. He continued relentlessly with no further frustration or funny faces. When I counted the number of days he fasted, it stood for 29 days out of 30 which is a huge leap from the last year. 

It was a great moment to cherish as I could see a great difference from last year to this year. His sheer determination and a little encouragement from us helped him to accomplish the goal. What I initially thought was not possible was made possible by him. As parents, we may think too much from the children's perspective on anything related to their goals and their ability to attempt certain attributes of life. I realized a little motivation and patience can bring our children up to the speed of our expectation without harming their innate freedom. It may be fasting for my son, but it may be a different scenario for your son or daughter. All we need to do is holding on their energy levels in their peak performance which is possible in all aspects of life. It is all in our hands to make anything from impossible to possible. All excuses from our end can be wrapped up and put in a corner and let that sleep forever. 

Bicycle Story

It was one of the Beautiful Sunday. My little critter who just turned 5 yrs was very keen in riding his cycle. He was very adamant to remove the training wheels and to ride on his own. Much to my discomfort, I asked my husband to accomplish the same for me. When the cycle returned with no training wheels, his joy was in no bounds. He was very interested to ride the cycle with no training wheels.

My Husband helped him to ride thru' the cycle exactly for 2 days. After that the cycle was left to rest. We left to vacation for a week. After coming back, my husband didn't have time to give practice and fear engulfed the little one's heart. He was very reluctant to ride and practice on his own. He said, " I think I may fall. I am not so confident in driving by myself. Fix back the training wheels". These sentences were kept on going in routine every day whenever I asked him to ride. 

One day he came and asked me, "Mama, can you buy me a new cycle. I think I am bored with the older one". I said, "If you are not riding this one without training wheels, I don't think I will buy one for you". I don't know what he thought. After few minutes, he was gone outside. He didn't come back for a long time. In the mood of searching him, I peeked through the balcony. I saw him trying to practice the cycle with no help. 

It took few days to get used to the tactics. He fell down for couple of times. There was no complaint from him. Only his elder brother came and announced the news. He took very light of all those incidences and kept on driving every day. 

Yesterday he called me and said, "Mama, come down and I will show you my skills". I was totally surprised by the way he could do cycling like a pro. While thinking on the same, I was totally taken aback for the determination he had to practice and perfect the same. I realized anything which looks impossible and challenging in the beginning will eventually fall in place, if we have a strong determination to go further and achieve the same. 

Summer Camp and a Realization

Children look forward for their summer holidays. As parents, we think thousand times what has to be given best to our children to make them happy and also to spend their time qualitatively. As a pressured mother, I too was looking options for summer camps which would fit right for my sons. Glad I found few and enrolled them which suited the best. They went happily, enjoyed and completed the camp.

One of these days, my elder son went for a chess class and happened to know of Archery class in a summer camp and he nudged me to enroll there. I registered him and he went to the class with lots of excitement. After coming back from the class, he wasn't happy. He told me the teacher wasn't teaching well and not using right words to speak to the child. I assured him, everything will be alright and he continued the next day.

The next day same complaint. I told him, "Child, if you don't raise up and speak for yourself the world is not going to take care of you. So next time if he using any word which bothers you, go talk to him". He was very scared to approach him at the beginning. Today he came back home and said, "I stood up and I spoke to him". I felt happy. 

Children should know how to disagree respectfully if something is not going okay with the teacher. The world is not comprised of kind people all the time. But if we know how to deal with people of all temperaments, we know how to move forward in life. As Adults, we should teach children to stand for themselves when something is not right. As a Mother, I felt happy that I educated my child to stand for himself.

Lunch Revelation

I and my son were out for an assessment. We reached the venue much earlier than the confirmed time. He felt like having lunch outside in a Mall. Usually he comes along and I purchase the food for him. This time I thought let him give a try on his own. Since we had so much time in hand, I asked him to go around and look out all the shops to find out a menu of his choice and price. He came back with his choice within couple of minutes. Then I gave him the money to buy and asked him to come standing in queue. He went with the money and asked a food of his choice. The shopkeeper told him that he can't buy food with cash instead to go and get a food coupon from other counter. I advised him to go and get the cash coupon for which he said the women knows only native language. He said, "I don't think I could buy and come. Why don't you come along with me?". I insisted him to manage and get the coupon. He went again, bought the cash coupon, got the food of his choice and came back. 

He finished his sandwich wholeheartedly happy. After he accomplished the same, I asked him, "How do you feel now". He said "Great". I felt satisfied and happy that I asked him to try. I believe it is our responsibility to nurture and groom them to be very independent in facing the world.  It holds the same for us too. When we try something new, we are usually very hesitant first. Slowly we enter into the arena and then explore ourselves.  Extroverts find themselves easy to adapt to any new experience. For introverts, it takes a little longer. But as long as we keep giving exposure for our kids to be independent , even when we are not around them they can help themselves and can lead a better life. When a child comes and asks for help, we need to help only when we know that it is not appropriate for this age .Otherwise whatever be the age they are in, it is very necessary for us to teach them to be independent and to take care of themselves which is very much needed later in life.

Blanket Theory

Some experiences teach us instantly. Few of them stay in our mind for long and continue to make us realize forever. Everyone in the world has problems. We can't finger point at anyone and say that he/she doesn't have any. It all depends on how we take,proceed and execute the same to live a conscious moment every time.

Dinner time was always fun. We usually talk and discuss few questions raised by our little ones. After they had stomach full, they were heading to bed. My elder son made up his bed and soon was getting ready to sleep. I was wrapping the final touch up in Kitchen. Suddenly I could hear my elder son saying "Amma, this blanket is not enough. I believe you gave me a short blanket." As soon as I heard his tone, I rushed there to see what I kept for him that day. 

It was a normal good blanket. I was wondering on the problem. I asked him to put the blanket and he again complained ," Look here ma, this is very short to use". Looking at the sight of the usage, i immediately chuckled and laughed. Instead of covering the blanket in lengthwise, he covered it breadth wise, which made all the issue. I told him,"Affy, look at the way you use the blanket". He changed it immediately and said " oh, I am so sorry ma" and he covered it right.

In life too, we sometimes look at a problem from a different perspective. Often they look very big and serious. If we change our spectrum from a different angle, sometimes the problem may not even exist. It is in our way by in which we decide to look make or break the issue. Sometimes we experience a much wide gap in very close relationships.  Every time we encounter them,we tend to look at the experience in the same way we dealt before. Hence the perception and the problem remains the same. 

Instead, if we look at every relationship as if we are dealing for the first time erasing all the previous memories, the fact is that they look actually very simple and easy to handle.  Problems are as big as we think. If we change our thought process, even the problems take a better direction and reach the destination of peace. We are the captain of our ship, we can either steer it in the right direction and reach the shore safe and sound or we can steer without a goal. Decision is ours. What do you think?

My Learning factor

I woke up very early morning. It was thick dark and chilly weather. I knew, it was going to be a super special day. The fact is I was getting ready to run my 5^th Marathon. I was truly excited. I geared up with all the necessaries for the day. After I got ready, I triggered my 10 year old to get up and ready. He got up as soon as I pronounced his name.

But to my disappointment, he was having a very bad wheezing and cough. He couldn't breathe properly. After doing preliminary remedies, I told him, “How are we going to proceed with the day? Shall we quit or should I leave you with another volunteer while I run? What do you think is the best idea?” I waited for his opinion. Before I could consider any of the option he said “I am running”. His reply was nerve-wracking and I was completely confused.

We both got ready. I booked an auto and asked him to drop us in the nearby train station as I know parking a car in the heavy crowd will be challenging. The auto driver dropped us in the station as discussed and he left. We went inside the station and waited for the ticket master to arrive. To our dismay, he was not coming any sooner. Only few men were there in the early morning.

 I was little scared. But knowing that my son is around, I was relaxed. I braved myself and asked them what time is the first train to reach the Beach station. They both replied, “In another 10 minutes”. I believed them and waited.

Time was running and I couldn’t see any sign of the ticket counter being opened. In the meanwhile I squeezed some biscuits and warm water to my son and asked him to relax as we had no clue on how to reach the destination at the moment. Few minutes later, a tall and stout lady came by. I was overjoyed seeing a female company. Again we waited for few minutes.

There was no one arriving at the counter site. The lady who came supposedly seemed to be an intelligent being. She moved the board which closed the counter slot and tried to speak. I was thinking she must be crazy. Who in the world she was going to talk as of now?

But to my surprise, I saw a man hiding inside the room behind the open counter. He must be sleeping all through the time making all of us fool. I asked him, “When is the first train to Beach station”. He replied very casually “At 6.55 AM”. Immediately I started to panic as the Marathon starts at 7 AM. There is no way we are going to reach on time for the event which is very important for both of us. I cursed my husband vividly for not joining with us in km, instead of running 21 Km.

I was very clear. We need to run. My mind wandered and thought what could be the next option. I booked another auto which came in 15 minutes time. By the time the auto arrived I saw two other runners heading towards the station.  I stopped them saying the first train starts very late. Hearing that they both joined with us in the auto. Soon the auto gobbled all four of us and we wheeled in the breezing cold wind in the early morning.

 What fun it is to ride the auto in the snow chilled air. We experienced abundance and all the world’s best experiences torched in front of the eyes. The moving lights, newspaper boys stacking the dailies, empty roads and less pollution a super wonderment in the morning. That was a purely a serene moment.

All four of us with two new faces started to chat like as though we knew each other for ages. Among the two, one was girl and it was her first marathon. She was discussing on the nuances of marathon thinking me as an avid runner. It was fun discussing and relaxing to feel that we are going to reach the place soon. Almost more than half way, the auto stopped. The auto driver was trying to make some stories and not making any progress. My threshold timer has stopped. I told him to get the money and leave us off.

We went to the road and started to look for other alternatives. In the meanwhile, my son was excited and his wheezing was trying to hide under his enthusiasm. I was feeling happy to see that change in him. Soon a SUV was racing very fast and I waved my hands in big circular motion standing in the middle of road that he left with no choice except to stop for us.  Surprisingly, there were also couple of marathon runners inside. Finally we were relieved. They reached the destination very soon and dropped us in the right spot.

I checked the time it was 7.00 AM. The balloons has already started flying. The countdown has started. By the time we reached the start point it was almost 7.06 AM and the crowd made their first step towards freedom. The energy surge, the music and the vibration made me shed tears. The crowd was so much that we couldn’t intrude the starting point at any case. So we made a dare jump through the bridge walls and joined the crowd.

The music was so peppy and exhilarating which left us focused on the run. We began our journey holding hands together. I checked his wheezing again. He was OK, but not very well. I was little worried. I was continuously checking on him. I told him not to run, instead do a fast pace walk. He was doing very well. After 1.5 km, he suddenly had the urge to run for short distances for which I said fine. He ran for few minutes and stopped. His heart was thumping so loud and I had to stop to check on him. On the way he fell on the ground once and I was happy that he didn’t feel embarrassed and I didn’t give time for him to do that.

We continued our journey, sometimes as slow runners, sometimes with brisk walk we raced forward. I was constantly checking on him. During the past marathons, around almost 5 to 6 km he used to lose energy and continuously whine that he couldn’t run further. I was so amazed to not hear any frustration or whining sound from him. I was also very relaxed. I knew that I can’t run as usual this time as I need to keep in pace with my son. I actually prepared my mind well in advance which helped me to do a better race.

Our joy was in no bounds when we heard that we finished almost 8 km. I was very happy seeing him run with no complaints in spite of wheezing this time. There were many inspirations on the way. Women in wheel chair, Man with artificial legs, Special children being the recipients of charity were all there in the way to motivate. It was a splendid moment. It was easy that way for me to motivate him. He ran and walked. I knew he was suffering to breathe. But he continued. He wanted to reach the goal. His goal was a booster for me to run.

We did not stop anywhere except for short snacks, water and electrolytes. Our destination was only 1.5 Kilometers away.  We saw an Auto driver taking video of runners in the early morning. It made me smile.  He must be inspired. It was almost 500 meters to the destination. I asked him,” Do you want to run or walk till the destination”? He said “I want to run’ and we both ran. It was a super fantastic journey together reaching the finishing point as winners.

Yei!! Hip! Hip! Hip! Hurray!!. Three cheers for us. I held his hands and hugged. I asked him, “How do you feel now”? He said “Ma, My wheezing is gone”. I was very happy. It almost looked like magical miracle. Few hours back, I saw this boy struggling for breath and now absolutely happy and healthy. I thanked the supreme power for the changeover moment. It was an immense gratification. I realized my thoughts and goal is very powerful than the physical body.

If you are destined to do anything by all your heart no matter what you might experience in the health, you can still achieve what you wanted to achieve. My son taught me a great lesson. He is the motivating factor for this Marathon and all my past marathons. I salute him from the bottom of my heart.  It was a life lesson learned in the most comfortable way. I am loving the experience.

Inspire

Yesterday the whole family was interested in public speaking as an effect of Toastmasters we attended on Saturday. It was my elder son's turn to choose the topics and give for the rest of the family members. His topic was "Who inspired the most and how did they inspire you". My husband and I finished speaking and we waited for Afshan(elder son) to talk on the same. He started and continued like this "I believe my mother is my Inspiration and I follow her. Even though we had lots of rain holidays she didn't let me sit lazy. Instead she gave me lots of activities and kept me busy and active all the time". Now hold on, this is not the speech I got mesmerized. Whenever I was loading him with lots of work, with a little irritant mood he comes and does the work. What I was thinking this long was, I bothered him so much and he was really mad at me. When I heard the story differently that was an epic moment.  I smiled.

 

 

Bicycle Fun

Today, I and my elder son had some good time discussing different genres of life. Past few days of Black out in Chennai had some good memories together as a family. We discussed about his Bicycle which we bought when we returned to India and the fact he is not using much these days caused me concern.  I told him" Honey, its been long you used the cycle and look at it now, it's almost getting rusty'. With that I said, "Anything which is unused for a long time will turn rusty, even our brain too". If we don't use it horizontally in all walks of life, then it may turn idle and it will not be useful for us when we want to use. Same with relationships too, if we don't balance and maintain and take good care, they may turn rusty soon. What is your take for today?