Monday, August 28, 2017

Change Maker

I was not at home during the last weekend. Both the days we went out for different sessions as a family. My mother and I talk during the weekday evenings. Since there was a delay in my regular calls, she tried to call me in one of the weekends. That was the weekend we were out all day. She tried calling me multiple times and did not succeed. My mobile was out of charge for long hours. After few attempts of failure, she got panicked. She called my sister to know my whereabouts. Since I had informed her about my sessions, she was able to update my mother on my status. Eventually, my mother was relieved from the thought clutches.You may be thinking on why I am stating this incident now. Is it necessary to make our parents aware of our schedule every day?  Do they need to press the panic button because we are not accessible through the phone? No, not necessary. But how can you avoid this situation? Since my regular calls took a break for two days, my mother couldn't understand the scenario.  If I would have been connecting her regularly in the previous days, she will not be panic for my absence. 

Recently a friend forwarded me a WhatsApp message. I wasn't able to read through the end. It seems a mother was left alone in a house while her children were at abroad earning their living. The hectic schedule of the children kept them away reaching their mother for months, not days. They didn't know the status of the mother for a very long time. Since the neighbors couldn't see the old lady for a very long time, they complained to the police. When the police came and opened the door, there was the real shocker of life. They can see the remains of the old lady in the sofa. She had died a long time ago with no one nearby her. 

I just wondered, are we running behind only the materialistic realms of life? Is human life least important for all? I understand everyone has a busy life these days. There is no question about it. In the busy schedule, how are we sequencing our priorities? We as parents do as much as we can to our children for their best livelihood in future. Are we teaching them the importance of human relationships from a young age? The children who know the value of life will eventually take care of their parents. It is their moral responsibility. We may think we shouldn't burden our children with the sense of responsibility. We should be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. 

Even though I agree for that, relationships and the life values play a great role in the lives of children. If they are sensitive towards their parents they will be sensitive towards other human beings too. Take a minute to realize and understand, how are we grooming our children to know the essentials of future. If you are doing the right steps as a parent, give a pat to yourself and if there is any correction to be done, take charge and be the change maker.

Friday, August 11, 2017

How to encourage children

A few months ago, my younger son drew a piece of art and handed over to me. He said to me to send his drawing to the Young world to publish the same. I sometimes forget to do that. So he reminded me every now and then to complete the work. Finally one fine day, I sent the artwork through email and I almost forgot the same. Every week he used to check every edition of the young world. He was disappointed to see his art work not being published in the young world. A few weeks later, gradually he lost interest in doing art work and he completely quit the process. If I ask him to start anything new, he would give me hundred different excuses to escape from the request. 

Weeks passed, months passed and one fine day his school correspondent pinged me in WhatsApp indicating that his artwork has been published in the Young World. My son was excited to the core. He never thought it will be out in the world. It was like a miracle and a dream coming true for him. He asked me to show the newspaper to him. He was holding the newspaper and staring at his artwork for zillion seconds. He did not want to come out of the scene so soon. After few weeks, we could see another art work from him getting published in the Young World. This time he was really happy. No words to describe his ecstasy and the feeling. 

A couple of days later, I can see my son sitting on his study table and started doing artwork on his own. Nobody insisted him to do the work. The huge encouragement he got by seeing his name in the newspaper did all the trick. Every time he would like to see his name and his work in the magazine. It is quite natural for any human being and it is a good addiction. We often have so many dreams and goals for our children. However, if we can direct them to pursue in the right direction everything is achievable.

 Every goal of the parent is possible by channelizing their thoughts in the right manner. I don't mean to say we should force them to achieve something. They don't know what is good and what is not. For example, in my case, I was asking him to spend a little time in the art which was not happening for a long time until his work got published. I won't say I forced him towards the target. But there is a way to make them get there. Similar way we think that our children should be great readers, thinkers, and develop their creative analysis. These are great goals. Making them achievable is all in our hands. We need to figure out only the right way to get there. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017


My husband asked me to review one of the documents on his desktop. While editing the same, I accidentally opened my husband's Facebook account. I know what you are thinking. I did it without him noticing me. So I was saved. I was browsing through the page. A video with many shares grabbed my attention. I opened the link and saw the video. At the end of the video, I was disturbed. It showed few people going and thrashing a 12 or 13-year-old boy until he collapses. Even though several videos of this kind is going on in the social media, this particularly disturbed me so much. After the video, I asked myself two questions. Where is the humanity? What are we leading to our younger generation?If a child does something wrong, there are zillion ways to correct it with a human touch. There is no way a child can be changed by beating him or her. 

The aggressive nature of the human mind is caused by building layers of painful memories inflicted from a young age. When a child is growing, it is our responsibility to show them the correct way of preventive measures. If we consider spanking the child as the right method of punishing the child, he or she will grow with a negative attitude towards people. That eventually leads to a spoiled child in the society at the later point of life. If we don't create holistic individuals for the society, there is no credit for our existence in the world. The creator of the universe created all of us to lead a peaceful life. 

I understand, there is so much going on in the world. Even in the middle of a crisis, if we can maintain our credibility and integrity, chances are high that our children will follow our footpath. As a society, if we collectively take a stand to not forward such violent or useless videos in Whatsapp or Facebook, we are at least doing a better role than others. However, if there is an incident to be reported to the government, it can be sent to the concerned person rather than promoting in social media. As children are having the access to smartphones, their minds can be easily corrupted with the spoiled videos. They may end up with the perception that the world outside is dangerous. There may be few who are scared to try anything new even in their friend's circle and there may be few who transform into daredevils. 

There is no percentage of benefit in forwarding such videos or information. It will induce hatred for a particular section of the society without a proper analysis. Before forwarding a video or audio to anyone, please check whether it will be of any benefit to the other person or anyone surrounding them. If not, please stop from your end itself. By doing so, you are evolving as a socially responsible person. We need this kind of messiahs in large number as the number of users using the internet is growing every day. 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Hold On

"Amma, I stood among the top 3 list of the 100-meter race" the voice swelled with pride when my 11-year-old entered the home. I was surprised and excited. I have no words to say. Despite they were made to sit in the hot sun for long hours, many children proved their mettle right during the recent sports heat conducted by the school. Even though he says me often, that he is considered one of the best runners in the class, I acknowledge it slightly and move on. We don't indulge in that discussion for hours. However, this time when he conveyed the news everything felt different. I didn't expect this to happen in our life at all.

I remember vividly what happened when he was young. I used to take him to the play ground often. I invariably tried in all the ages, may be 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 years. He would run back home leaving all the friends behind. He didn't show even a single percent interest towards physical activity. I used to contemplate like a worried mother. How do I make his interest towards the ground? What would be the right attempt? Many questions were moving around in my mind, but nothing was fixed in concrete and I dropped the idea finally. 

In the recent past before a year ago, I joined him in a tennis coaching class. Before playing tennis, they are supposed to do a lot of warm ups including running for some time. He was going to the classes consistently by force and at a point, he was a self-starter by himself. The magic happened there and he was falling in love with the workout. It took years of patience and consistent effort. 

The victory made me think that nothing is impossible. A boy whom I thought will never get to the ground and do running or anything in life gradually developed an interest for the same and excelling in the same become unimaginable. If you have started a business and nothing is working out at the present, hold on, you will see the magic within some time. If you are a mother, who is worried about the future of your child, hold on, you will see the magic after some years. If you are working in an IT sector, but not happy about the achievement for this year, hold on, you will see the magic in the coming year. All this can happen, only when you are consistent and work towards the right path. When your mind peeps out to you and says, "Hey, it's enough, I am done with it,", stop that inner voice and say, "Hold on, there is a magic brewing in God's factory".

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Handwritten letter

During the last academic year, my son came back from school and was very excited. I didn't know the reason for the excitement. I was thinking the next day may be a holiday. But when I enquired him, that was not the reason. Once he settled down, I asked him the reason. He said he is attempting ASSET exam for the first time and he is very excited to take the online exam. My goodness! that was the first time I saw a kid jumping in joy for an exam. We were discussing several ways to excel in the exam. I thought to give him a mock test at home which he agreed. We worked very hard before the exam. As the exam date was coming near, the preparation became much severe.  However, within few days the school has sent a mail asking us to be present for a program in the morning the same day of ASSET exam.

We were not in a mood to quit the program. So we agreed to attend the same and I also checked with his teacher on the possibility of conducting the exam a little prior to the timeline mentioned as there was a huge interval between the morning program and the online exam timing.  She agreed and asked us to come in the morning. The D-Day arrived. We reached the venue on time, attended the parent's program and I went with my son to the Maths Teacher's room. She was conversing busy with all the children. I intruded her asking an excuse and informed the exam. She immediately went and checked the seats left for doing the online exam. Unfortunately, there was no space left and she asked me to stay for few minutes.
After few minutes, she went and checked. The status was the same. Almost, I waited for an hour. The place wasn't vacant yet. So I informed the teacher that I am leaving for the day. I will not be coming to attend the exam as my home was very far away from school. She did not let me go. She was persuading me so much to stay and complete the exam. After a long discussion, I left the place without attending the exam. Later when I met her in one of the PTM sessions, she was worried about the incident. 

The way she took the time to explain the benefits of attending the exam and the way she was worried by looking at me leaving the place without attending the exam surprised me. I was totally taken aback. I came back home and I wrote an appreciation letter to the teacher.  I send the same addressed to her the next day. She felt really happy. We tend to go to school often either to complain something or to listen a teacher or principal as part of the schedule. Most often we give feedback for improvement. What if we appreciate teachers when they least expect the same from us? Do you think they tend to take care a little more than normal?  Our children spent most of the day with them. It is very necessary to say our token of appreciation once in a while to acknowledge their hard work and support. They are the ones who sow the seeds of wisdom from a young age. So take some time to write a letter to the teachers and see the response.  More than the teachers, you will feel good for writing a letter. Happy Letter writing.