Fasting

Can you imagine yourselves without food and water for few hours? The mere thought itself is daunting right. During the end of the summer vacation in the hot summer month, we knew that the month of Ramadan was coming. When we think about Ramadan, the only one thing to remember is fasting. We need to get up in the early morning around 3.15 AM for a light breakfast. The deadline time to eat and drink will end by 4 to 4.15 AM. The whole day we need to fast till 6.40 PM with no intake of food and water. The fasting period is challenging even for adults. But the essence of the fasting teaches everyone patience and endurance. When millions of people go hungry every day because of their economy, war and other reasons, this is a period to fast by purpose and expressing our solidarity with the people around the world. 

So as expected the fasting period arrived with a great beginning. Since we have to eat the pre-dawn meal before we begin the fasting I asked my elder son who is around 11 yrs to join us. He woke up with great difficulty and on top of that asking him to eat anything in the morning was really challenging. The very first day, he did the fasting for us and with a little frustration. Few days passed and he was continuing the same but with less interest. Because, when he sees any yummy food in the day time he will think to himself, "Why did I, do the fast man"?. He carried on for the next few days. 

His school reopened for the next academic year. As he is entering the 6th grade, his school timings have got changed and he had to get up early in the morning. It was a difficult phase for him and the whole family. We were slowly transitioning to the new schedule. I told him, "Honey since the schedule is so early if you like to leave the fasting, you can quit and focus on the studies". He said, "Maybe, let's see".  So the first day of school he was on fasting. In the evening I was expecting a frustrated son. To my surprise, he came with a broad smile and said, "I did it successfully". He came to the home with no fuss. Next day, again I reiterated on the decision to fast. He stood strong and said that he wanted to continue the same. I was a little surprised. He continued relentlessly with no further frustration or funny faces. When I counted the number of days he fasted, it stood for 29 days out of 30 which is a huge leap from the last year. 

It was a great moment to cherish as I could see a great difference from last year to this year. His sheer determination and a little encouragement from us helped him to accomplish the goal. What I initially thought was not possible was made possible by him. As parents, we may think too much from the children's perspective on anything related to their goals and their ability to attempt certain attributes of life. I realized a little motivation and patience can bring our children up to the speed of our expectation without harming their innate freedom. It may be fasting for my son, but it may be a different scenario for your son or daughter. All we need to do is holding on their energy levels in their peak performance which is possible in all aspects of life. It is all in our hands to make anything from impossible to possible. All excuses from our end can be wrapped up and put in a corner and let that sleep forever. 

Truck Driver

The lush green fields, tall brown hills, and clouds trespassing them are a delight to witness. These are not mere words but the true picture of my village in Kanyakumari district. Whenever there is a need to visit my village, I feel double delighted as I love to be in the warmth of Mother Nature and also enjoy the peaceful weather. Nature never fails to amaze me. This summer too, there was a necessity to visit as I had to conduct multiple workshops in the schools in and around the city. So it was an extended vacation.

Gradually I finished my workshops and was looking forward accomplishing the next task awaiting me. We have a large farmland which was completely ignored due to the failure of monsoons. We had to nourish the field with a good amount of fertile soil.  Since it was summer and dry, even officials were showing the green flag to take sand from the drought-stricken ponds in the mood of cleaning them before the monsoon arrives. We identified the right contractors and discussed with them on executing the job within a short period. Everything was decided and the work proceeded.

Every day the trucks start loading from a nearby pond around 6.30 AM and finish the work by 7.00 PM. There were many trucks assigned for this job. Every day I go there with my son to keep a note on their arrival time and also the number of loads dumped on the farmland. We also made sure to get their signatures at the end of each day. This continued for few days and soon we became thorough of their schedule.

We used to relax during their lunch break and on one such occasion, my son was turning the pages of the note and was quite surprised to see that a particular truck driver has been dumping more loads compared to all the other trucks. After the lunch break, he kept a watch on the specific truck. This truck driver was the first one to operate after the lunch break and he finished it in style and went. I keenly started noticing the driver. He did not bother to look anywhere. All I could see was a strong passion in his eyes. He focussed only on his job and nothing else. Rest of them took so much time in getting down from the driver seat to finishing their work. Rain or shine he was working with unstoppable spirit. My son got inspired by the particular truck driver. Also, he worked happily without any stress. I could see a smile on his face during the entire period. There was no frustration or whining as others normally do.

I was surprised by his work ethic which I have usually witnessed in a corporate environment.  He made me realize it does not matter whether you are a CEO of a multinational company or a normal truck driver all you need to show is commitment and passion towards your work and execute it in style. It is the passion that makes us a powerful person.  If we have a goal in place we need to work till it is reached, or else it will never become a reality. We always come with excuses to escape from anything we could not achieve.  We blame the bad weather, heavy traffic or the bus which we missed for our late coming. Any small issue can make us frustrated. But if we keep all those silly issues aside and follow our passion, definitely we can become the most powerful person at the end of the day and inspire anyone around us.

Tamed Thoughts

It was one of those early summer vacation days, During the school days, I was too lazy to try any new recipe for the children. I felt like cooking something different as I promised them earlier. I never recommend or prepare any fried food for breakfast. But that day was different and I woke up early. Also, I was in a mood to prepare and taste a fried item. The initial preparation was all done. The cooking vessel was kept on the stove; the batter was checked for the right consistency; the oil was bubbling at the right temperature and everything was all set. I poured a ladleful of batter in the oil. The rice balls were swelling with pride. 

After few seconds, the color turned golden brown and the balls were ready to be taken out from the oil and find a place in the hot pack. I used a spatula for flipping the balls to ensure they cook well on both sides. Unfortunately, the oil splashed on my hands and I was making a big hoot to let my family know that I am up to something. After a few minutes for the second ladleful of batter also I tried to flip with the spatula. It was then, I sensed something was not working out.  and wondered what could be the reason. Then I figured out that the spatula was creating the problem. I replaced the spatula with a silver fork and tried flipping the rice balls. It perfectly worked out and I was able to finish preparing the breakfast in no time. 

A small shift in the use of right spatula made all the difference. Sometimes we try doing the routine and expect a different result. To tame an elephant the trainers chain them for an initial couple of years. Once the elephant is tamed, the chains are usually released. The elephant thinks that it is still chained and does not run or move away from its place. Similarly, we are often bound by our thoughts and we don’t aspire to try anything new in our life. We continue to assume that we can achieve anything by following the same routine every time. Some cannot handle a shift or change in schedule. In our work environment too, if we think about bringing in a difference in our everyday work, it will make our work interesting and challenging. 

Instead, if we keep doing the mundane work, chances are that we may get bored too easily. Avoiding the usual route to the office, if we try going by a different less traffic route, we may reach office early. But we never attempt to try an option as we feel very comfortable with our regular route. I just want to say that if we do the same routine we will get the same result. So why expect a different output when the input is always the same. Try to do anything differently but do not expect an immediate change. At least you are trying to challenge yourself and think in a different manner which will help you tap millions of opportunities. Invent yourself to be different. 

Messy Art

Summer holidays started. I hope all the mothers are going crazy just like me. How well can I engage my child is the question for every mother. No wonder it is the same with me too. Every year I enroll my child for a summer camp. They may either learn a new language or learn something in theater or public speaking. 

This year I decided not to enroll them in any of the classes. I thought to take a risk by keeping them at home. First few days went well.  Yesterday the younger one was getting bored. I told him to read few books, gave him few assignments in Maths and a 20 minute kindle time. Everything was over. "Amma, I am bored. Can I have some more time watching kindle"? I said, "No".  

He was getting bored. I suggested him to do art with crayons and pencils. It took a long time to convince him. After that, he was ready to do the art. I supplied with everything he asked. There was starting trouble in his face.  He said, "I am blank. I don't know what to do draw"?  Then he suddenly remembered something about Neil Armstrong. He drew few rockets and started coloring them with a black sketch. Soon he realized the coloring was not perfect. So he started whining once again.

He said, " I am not going to draw anything anymore.  It is not looking good".  Soon I soothed him saying, "When you mess up your art you will learn to do it right the next time. So doing a messy art is not wrong". He stopped crying immediately and was looking at me. 

That moment I wondered, if we fail to exhibit perfection, it is okay. That is the best way to excel in the next attempt, which doesn't mean the next one is going to be perfect, but a little better than last time. Sometimes when we try doing a new recipe, it may fall flat, but from that moment we can learn it better. When we learn a new technology or a new skill for a project, high chances are that we don't always get it right. But it is always better than not learning anything. From there, we can always move to the better way.  After learning to drive a car, the first drive is not going to be a gentle one. We may end up with little scratches. But it is okay.  From there, we can always move to the better way. 

It is okay to fall for the first time to learn anything better. So friends when you hit a bumpy road, tell yourself it is okay, from there, we can always move to the better way. 

Who is your stepping stone?

Last week I was out on Friday and Saturday to retreat my brain. It is essential to feed the little machine in our system at the right time. Otherwise, they let loose themselves. Whenever I go outside for my knowledge hunt, usually I won't be able to take my younger one along for any of the sessions.  During those times I had to depend on my younger sister. She lives few km away from my place.

He stays there with no fuss and I move on peacefully to my work. At this juncture, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to my sister who always renders help whenever I need it. She doesn't expect anything in return. You are lucky if you are in a relationship like that. You are the luxurious human being ever if you have that one good relationship in life. 

When I look back, there are so many tasks I would not have achieved if she is not around.  When you are in a right state and growing in the right ladder, we should know that it is not only because of us we achieve that position in life, but there are so many people around us who act as a stepping stone to help us reach that height. Those who realize the same leave gentle and humble footprints on earth. Those who never realize will always leave egoistic footprints which can never be erased. 

Take a part of your time in your life to thank that someone who is always helping you but stays behind the shadow and expect nothing. Your appreciation means a lot to them.

Breaking the Wall

I still remember the first day of my Yoga Class. I went into the class not knowing what to expect and dilemma. I unrolled my yoga mat and sat.  The trainer asked me to lay down and close my eyes. I followed her instruction subserviently and was waiting for the class to begin. 

The class started with some easy stretches and breathing exercise. I was calm and relaxed. The session progressed towards doing Downward Dog, Upward Dog and Bridge Pose to name a few. After the session, my legs pained and stomach cramped. I thought this is the end of it. I am not going to the Yoga class anymore. 

I came back home. I had a chat with my husband explaining my experience over the same.  He is not a person who leave me just like that. He heard the whole story and enjoyed every bit of my narrative.  I was waiting for the moment that he would say,  "Honey, you don't need to go to the class".  To my dismay, he asked me to go for one more session in the evening to get more practice.  My Goodness, I wondered I shouldn't have told the story to him. I realized I dug a hole for myself. 

From the next day onwards, the Yoga sessions were intense and then it continued that way.  As of now, I have almost 4 years of experience in Yoga practice.  I look back and wonder if my husband would not have pushed me I would not have come a long way. Now I am fairly confident to take yoga classes for others. 

Sometimes in life, we never know what is good.  When you can't think beyond what is in front of you right now, trust the person who believes you. If you take that one step in life, obviously a thousand mile journey will be easy for you.  Similarly, our children may be very adamant to try new things in life, we feel like yielding for them often, but as parents, if we can push them beyond their comfort zone it will help them to nourish their confidence a lot. Give that little discomfort for your children so that they can step ahead from their cocoon and learn abundantly from the world. Your child may not have the exposure to play with a new group of friends every time, give them that experience by taking to a Birthday party where they are in a new environment with a new set of people and friends. When you give a different experience every time,  it can bring a great shift in thought leadership. Let us be the motivating factor for ourselves and children. 

Failure

 The day started with excitement. I was on a high giving a speech in front of one of the walls in my house. I was preparing for my Area Contest speech in Toastmasters. I was all set. Well prepared. Timed the clock. The speech fell within the right timeframe. Everything was great. 

 I got ready with my family. We popped in the car and drove to the place. I arrived earlier than the usual time. 

Butterflies were flying from top to bottom and realized I had to align myself for a speech delivery. I rehearsed in the stage once and understood that I was thorough with my words and speech. I was all set.

  The Contest began. I picked one from the lot box and found to be the third contestant. I had a gulp of water, soothed my throat and was ready. My name called, I  entered the stage and started speaking to the fullest tone. Afffff! I did it. 

 Rest of the Contestants also spoke well. It was a tough fight. After all the speeches, we were waiting for the results. I had the expectation to win the contest. Finally, the time came to declare the results.   I was waiting for my name to pronounce in the top 3 list.  Obviously, all the other contestants also would have thought the same. I was disappointed when my name was not there in the top 3 winners. Everyone came and congratulated me for the performance. But I couldn't digest the fact that I didn't win. 

 

I stood there thinking myself foolish. I couldn't handle the fact that I lost. Failure haunted me.  I decided I should not be contesting anymore. All the negative thoughts came and occupied me in the first sense. After a lengthy discussion with my friends, I came back home. After coming back home, I sat with myself and analyzed the reasons.

 

There was a video from a friend explaining the rise of KFC founder Harland Sanders at the age of 65 years and the video end with the lines, "It's never too old to dream". I sat for a while thinking about the same. After seeing a great story, my story looked minuscule in size. I was thinking that I was the only loser on the planet. 

What am I going to get if I worry about the lost prize for a long time? But, If I can get up and do my work which is left behind I can at least step forward.  That moment I realized,  failure doesn't mean, the world has come to an end and locked the door permanently. That is a phase in life, and that is not the end of life. In the moment of failure, think about all that you succeeded in life. Then the thought of failure will be gone.

 As parents, our responsibility is not only making our children succeed in life but also help them understand that failure is not that bad as the world perceives every time. If Harland sanders have stopped trying after his first failure, KFC would not have born.  Every failure is a stepping stone for success. When we fail, all we need to do is what is my learning from the failure and move on. Don't sit and stare the same for a long time.  Some things did not work out for the right reason and when you deserve the same, success will knock your door. Until then, keep working hard and dream.